Last week I had a cold. However, I also had a newly opened bottle of Cabernet. Dilemma. I found myself pondering that age-old query: is it OK to drink wine right now? Will drinking wine with a cold make you feel better? Worse? This was far from the first time I’ve wrestled with this question. This post is a brief, occasionally scientific investigation of when it’s medically, socially and emotionally acceptable to start drinking wine. You could probably sub in another beverage of choice, though I’m not sure why you would.

When you’re sick:

My instinct was that wine was going to be good for colds, because it involves fruit and makes you feel warm and sleepy. I probably had some wine-based syllogism going there, too. Nyquil contains alcohol. Wine contains alcohol. Wine is basically Nyquil.

In reality land, however, the Mayo Clinic recommends avoiding alcohol when you have a cold, because it can make you more dehydrated and worsen cold symptoms. It can also suppress your immune system, according to WebMD.

On the other hand, wine drinkers might be less likely to come down with colds in the first place. A 2002 study of some Spaniards found that people who drank more than 14 glasses of wine per week were 60 percent less likely to develop a cold — and the benefit was even stronger with red wine.

On a snow day:

Snow days are found time. These hours have a magical quality, all dusted in fine white. Don’t waste them sober. If you’re off for the day, I’d say corks should be popping at the first hints of “afternoon.”

After a workout:

I’m a fan of the post-run beer, because carbs, but science reminds us, again, that drinking dehydrates you, which could actually prolong your recovery time. But, really, who cares about that? Side note: a 2012 study found that resveratrol, an antioxidant found in red wine, has beneficial effects on cardiac and skeletal muscle function, similar to the effects of endurance exercise training. In other words, why workout at all!?

Before a workout:

This is a blatantly insane question to ask, and for your bravery, please enjoy some Zinfandel before Zumba.

During your little sister’s recital:

People will wonder about the cat-calls and repeated standing ovations, but ignore the haters. Concentrate on that little voice inside you chanting: Best Sister Ever! Actually it’s not a little voice. It’s you; you’re actually chanting that at your sister’s recital right now.

At a wedding:

You should obviously have wine before, during, and after a wedding. You know this. At my friend Katie’s wedding this summer, they passed bubbling glasses of champagne down the rows of the chapel, and I finally understood the meaning of love.

When you’re already having serious doubts about your relationship:

This past fall I went on what was later termed a “wine-fueled rant” about the state of my relationship with my then-boyfriend. Not 24 hours later, this resulted in the termination of said relationship. Do I regret that glass (or three) of wine? Not really. I like to think of it as a truth serum, speeding up what was probably inevitable anyway.

When you’re writing your next masterpiece:

Truth serum, maybe. But personally I’ve never thought wine was much of a creative lubricant. When I’m writing or revising, I want my head to be clear and sharp, not all fuzzy, I says. Don’t worry; I’m apparently totally wrong about this. A 2012 study found that moderate intoxication improves problem solving and leads to more “sudden insights,” at least according to study participants.  There’s also this book, Wine Drinking for Inspired Thinking. Subtitle: Jess you are extremely misguided and alone on this one. Sigh. Fine.

Cheers y’all!