❤Accept them for who they are, flaws and all. Hire someone to compensate for their flaws. ❤Turn their grating behaviors into silent drinking games that only you play. ❤Employ tennis’ Hawk-Eye line-calling technology to settle all disputes over who is taking up more than their side of the bed. ❤Don’t compare them to other people’s […]

I got engaged this month! It’s very exciting and I’m very excited. Full disclosure, though: I’ve been lowkey planning my wedding for a cool four months now. I bought the dress and booked the venue all before holmes dropped to one knee on a bridge on the romantic Biltmore Estate in Asheville, North Carolina. There […]

You will catch a cold. The stock market will rise. It will also occasionally fall. Someone you know will get married. Every episode of This Is Us will make you cry. Famous people will die. You will wonder why you’re so tired. The Cavs will play the Warriors in the NBA Playoffs again. One of […]

I just had “the talk” with my bank account. It … wasn’t pretty. If you thought I was not that fun in 2016, hold onto your asses: I’m going to be a real dud in 2017. It’s budget crunch time! Outside, meanwhile, the weather turned cold and blustery so quickly that I found myself spontaneously holding […]

If one thing’s for sure, it’s that I am very normal. I certainly don’t alienate people randomly, or fear my peers, or have trouble getting out of bed most mornings. Not doing those things is just one of the many normal things about me. Similarly, my many and thorough obsessions are very normal as well. I have been […]

What’s up, guys? Anything interesting and of great personal and global significance happen this week? Yeah. Yeeeah. First, let me say that I’m struggling so hard against the temptation to preface this post. To in some way downplay my opinions and my right to them in an effort to avoid later blame or criticism, most of which I’ll […]

Hi everyone, I’ve been watching Bones every day for two months and eating jars of almond butter, plural. Have you also been achieving your fitness goals? If not, don’t worry — have I got some tricks for you. Water: Drink a lot of it. That way, you’ll have to get up to use the bathroom frequently, […]

Last week, I took two weeklong summer immersion classes at the Second City Training Center in Chicago. The historic Second City theater opened its doors in 1959, and is known for launching the careers of comedy icons such as Bill Murray, Chris Farley, Mike Myers, Tim Meadows, Steve Carell, Stephen Colbert, and my personal false […]