I went on an amazing vacation recently. Snow-capped mountains, warm and sunny days, and a new pair of skis for my birthday. And for a not insignificant chunk of that trip, I was unnnnn-comfortable. Everyone has a comfort zone, and I was three nautical miles outside of mine. I was sick with a cold, then altitude sick, and sharing a hotel suite with LOTS of people I didn’t know and probably would never have spent this much time with under any other circumstances. As personalities go, we were extra different in so many ways.

As you can imagine, as a writer, I welcomed the social challenge of getting along with a group of people who were really different than me. I embraced – with wide open arms – the chance to learn something new about humanity from each and every one of them. JUST KIDDING. I was a total mop. I hid. I cried a few times. I begged to be taken home. Until, at last, I felt a little better, I tried a little harder, and I had a pretty good time. More importantly, I did take something from the experience that I’m sure I can use in my Work-in-Progress. But for future situations (though, mind you, this wasn’t my first social freak out), I hope I’ve learned a little about how NOT to deal with awkward social situations.

• Don’t hide. Hiding can turn an awkward situation into a full-on, panic-attack-inducing terrifying situation. Don’t give it that power. But do give yourself periodic breaks for alone-time, especially if you’re feeling sick or low energy. And if anyone thinks it’s weird that you excused yourself to use the restroom 7 times in the last hour, screw ‘em.

• Don’t judge a book by its cover. Or, judge the book by its cover, but convince yourself the book has a really interesting twist at the end. Like in that quaint, beachy romance, Gone Girl.

• Don’t feel the need to assimilate either. You are who you are, and that’s nothing to hide. If you don’t want to drink, don’t drink. If you don’t want to play “never have I ever,” don’t do it. If you’d rather not participate in the ritualistic human sacrifice, you don’t have to do that either!

• Don’t imagine you’re above it all. Just because a social situation makes you uncomfortable, doesn’t mean it’s not a worthwhile situation. It’s just not your cup of tea.

• Don’t punish the person who may have brought you to the awkward social situation or assume they are secretly trying to kill you with discomfort.

And here are a couple do’s, for good measure:

• Do hang in there. They say that 80% of success is showing up. I feel the same way about conversations with strangers. You may not always have much to say to someone you have little in common with, but hanging in there and being a good listener can go a long way. Alternatively, sometimes I launch into “investigative journalist” mode and ask deeply personal, probing questions, which has a mediocre success rate.

• Do cut yourself some slack. Hey, you’re trying. That’s amazing, and you’re amazing for it.

• Do make peace with your discomfort. It’s an uneasy feeling, but as it turns out, it probably won’t kill you. Time will pass, and you WILL get through it.

Have you ever been in a similar situation? Are you in one right now?? If so, hang in there, and good luck!