❤Accept them for who they are, flaws and all. Hire someone to compensate for their flaws.
❤Turn their grating behaviors into silent drinking games that only you play.
❤Employ tennis’ Hawk-Eye line-calling technology to settle all disputes over who is taking up more than their side of the bed.
❤Don’t compare them to other people’s partners. Compare them to Justin Trudeau. Remember you could never bag that.
❤Don’t fight over who has to fold the laundry. SET IT ON FIRE AND START FRESH.
❤Give yourself a mantra for difficult times, like “I’m going to want someone to watch the news with when I’m 65” or “I’m too sleepy to be a single parent.”
❤Get a distracting, high-energy pet, like an ostrich, leaving you too exhausted for silly grudges or elaborate crimes.
❤Set ground rules for arguments, like “no swearing” or “only swearing.”
❤Carve out time for yourself. 23 hours a day should suffice.
❤Remember, you’re not perfect. This isn’t true, but repeating things like that to yourself builds character.
❤Don’t let their family get in the way of your happiness. Maybe don’t even let them out of the attic where you keep them.
❤It can be difficult to see eye-to-eye sometimes, but try to put yourself in their shoes. Do not try to put yourself in their SKIN.
❤Settle disputes the old-fashioned way: Hunger Games arm wrestling.
❤At the end of the day, don’t forget: this is the love of your life you’re talking about! And that means something. It means you will be the first person they suspect. Haven’t you ever seen Dateline? Don’t bother.
Happy Valentine’s Day!❤❤❤