Only if you need them, of course.

1. You’re 35 and have arrived!
2. You’re 35 and sort of know how to drive!
3. You’re 35 and still alive!
4. 34? You’re ONE BETTER than that!
5. 26? You’re way more confident and settled now!
6. 21? No, yeah, that was probably the best year.
7. Age ain’t nothin but a number!
8. Age ain’t nothin but a standard measurement of existence!
9. Age ain’t nothin but a series of biological changes that makes it more difficult to have babies and run five miles and stuff!
10. Age ain’t nothin! It is nothing!!
11. You know what they say: 35(ing) and thriving
12. You know what they say: 35s have more fun
13. You know what they say: resistance is futile
14. 35 is the new 30!
15. 35 is the new 9!
16. 35 is the new 87!
17. 35 is the new 35! OLD SCHOOL.
18. Life isn’t measured in the number of years you’ve lived, but by the number of stories you can tell.
19. Life isn’t measured in the number of years you’ve lived, but in the debt you’ve accumulated.
20. Life is definitely measured in the number of years you’ve lived, I don’t know who is telling you otherwise.
21. You are halfway between two milestones, a mix of youth and maturity.
22. You are halfway between two milestones, yet have accomplished so little.
23. It’s like you’re aging backwards!
24. What I mean is, you are less and less mature each year. Weird.
25. Savor each moment, each day, each year. Extract its essence and take it back to your lab for commercialization purposes. Live forever.
26. You’re not 35, you’re 18 with 17 years experience.
27. You’re not 35, you’re 18 and suffering from an extreme delusion.
28. Don’t count your years, make your years count! Someone else will count for you. Someone is always counting.
29. Youth has no age. Too bad you’re not young anymore!
30. Happy 10th anniversary of your 25th birthday, the day time stopped forever!
31. It took you 35 years to look this good! It will take 5 more to unravel completely.
32. If you think about it, you’re only 420 months old. Which sounds WAY WORSE.
33. If you think about it, you’ll get yourself in weird place. Don’t.
34. 35 and FABULOUS 🙌
35. 35 and IN BED BY 10 🙌

Thanks for all the birthday wishes guys!